Small Victories

So, here I am on my last week of Boot Camp. I have loved most of it - not really the pain of the first two weeks, but the rest has been great! This next go round I am going to sign up for the three day a week program. But, let me update you on my progress:

I have lost 6 lbs., 1 3/4 inches from my waist, 3/4 inch from my thigh, 1/4 inch from my biceps - and I can't remember the rest. I have also lost 3 % in body fat!! WooHoo!!!
The best thing so far for me has actually not been those numbers - although they are great motivators right here at the end - no, the best thing has been how strong I have gotten. I can lift things now, I am not as winded when I do things, and I stayed on the elliptical machine yesterday for 20 whole minutes!! (Level 5 resistance). I just can't explain what this means to a couch potato like me. Mind you I will never be a marathon runner - I am definitely more of a sprinter, but the strength is getting better everyday.

I am pumped about this!! I am also so extremely thankful that God has blessed me with a body that moves! I am learning that I cannot take that for granted. My best friend of my life called two days ago to let me know she had gone to the hospital for chest pains. With her history of high blood pressure and the knowledge she was still in the hospital I was very, very concerned. Thankfully it is not her heart, but it looks like pancreatitis. They are working to find out what is causing it. My prayer is it is just her gall bladder and can be taken out. To say that I had a wake up call is very minor. Not only can I not imagine anything very serious being wrong, but it was a wake up call about my own health, too. She is 8 months younger than me. So, if it can happen to her, it can happen to me. Needless to say that was the extra push I needed to keep going.

So, as this journey to health and weight loss continues I will keep you updated.

Philippians 3:13-14

"13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. "

Press on and Praise Him!!

Halfway Through!!

Okay - week two down. Yeah!! I have to say I really have a love/hate relationship with this whole thing. I love how encouraging the trainer is, how much better I feel this second week, and the way my body is challenged like never before. On the other hand I hate the pain, the feeling like my heart will rupture if I walk or run one more lap, or the feeling like I need to vomit.
Thankfully the vomiting feeling is rare and I am learning the hard way what to eat, but also what to stay away from.
Doing intense (again, for me) exercise like this requires different things from my body. I have read some on what to eat and not eat to increase the benefit - and replenish what is lost. If I dare to drink a milkshake or have milk products before exercise (around lunch) then I am dying about 20 min into the workout - but I have also found that after a workout and reward of low fat chocolate milk is like heaven!
I have lost four pounds!! Yeah!
The bad news is that I have done something to my ankle. It hurts to walk on and is swollen - Yesterday I pressed through anyway - but now I am paying. I need prayer for immediate healing - I can't stop this now!! I am fearful I would never start back! That would be horrible!!!!
I definitely feel better and am carrying myself better - I wonder if it is because of the exercises strengthening everything - or just because I am so internally proud that I have come this far! (probably both :D )
This is Easter weekend - a time for new growth, new beginnings, forgiveness, love, and family. I pray that I can continue with the new growth (in the right direction) and continue to accept the forgiveness God gives so freely when I mess up - and that I will not sink back into destructive patterns when around bio family - you know - like eating out of habit, or even out of frustration :D
I am so thrilled to have the ability to go to this Boot Camp! I thank God for the blessing and it is by His strength I am able to finish each day!
Philippians 4:13

One Down

Okay - so I completed an entire four solid, back to back days of intense (at least in my world it is) exercise!! WHAT A GOD THING!!



Today begins week two. I am not really so much looking forward to it as I am so thankful that I have the opportunity and support and am not going to waste it!



Do I feel better? Yes. I am not sore (as of this morning - I will let you know how it goes from here), and I can definitely tell a difference in my ability to pick things up - so much better!

I cannot wait to get stronger and stronger.



Now - I know it has only been one week (really four days), but I was hoping to see a change in the scales for the good - So far - the same - actually on Friday and Saturday my legs and hands swelled so I had a little extra going for me. I don't really know what was up with that, but I will continue on.



I know that "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength!" Philippians 4:13

Christ went through horrible pain and torture for me and endured. He didn't give up - not even when he wanted to. He is my inspiration!



May your life be blessed by this journey you are traveling!

Boot Camp

How many of you secretly watch "Biggest Loser" wishing you too could have the privilege of someone staying over you, encouraging, berating, etc - until you, too lose 80, 100, 50, 150 lbs?
But, you are also munching away on something while watching and wishing? I have been known to do all of this - watch while eating popcorn, or ice cream, or cookies, etc - wishing inside I could trade places with one of them - but also knowing I would not want the whole world watching me or analyzing my every mistake, tear, or roll of fat.

So, on this quest to health, weight loss, spiritual growth, and hopefully fitness - I have finally gotten off the couch. Once again - thank you to my wonderful and fabulous husband - my main supporter in all of this!

I am going to start day three today of an all female boot camp. I didn't really understand the pain my body would be in or exactly how hard we work even from day one! But I really am liking it. I like feeling successful when I do 75 of anything and then move to the next exercises. I like that my body feels the work and I am eagerly awaiting my outside to show what is happening on the inside! I must say I question whether or not I was smart to start with the 4 day/week program as opposed to three - but as my husband reminded me - I am exactly where I am supposed to be!

So - I will keep you updated on my progress - and thank the Lord I did not vomit yesterday like I thought I was going to from pushing my body so hard :D

Many Blessings!

65 Pounds to go

Maybe the title doesn't cover everything, but it is a start. That is what we all focus on, right? The pounds? I know I do - if you can give me a guaranteed pill to swallow - tell me it will not damage my heart and lungs, will curb my craving for carbs without the nasty flatulence to go along with that - then I would be all over it!! But, alas, so far there is no such wonder pill. It has taken me years of self indulgence and gluttony to get here, so I am not sure why I feel it can all be "undone" in 90 days! (it hasn't been 90 days, I am just poking at the diet fads that harp on that). For me - I have been seriously moving forward - with multiple steps back - for almost 78 days now. I am still down 16.5 pounds. I know if I would incorporate exercise I could be down further, but I haven't so this is the price I pay.

I can't say I have enjoyed this whole process. I am so glad that I have begun it though. I do have a different way of looking at food, and a knowledge that food will not disappear from my life forever just because I do not partake of it at that moment. I am trying to be healthier and instill healthier habits in my children. I am also trying to let them see me share - where once I kept things for myself. How awful is that to admit? Yep - really bad. But, they have noticed the change and have even commented on it. Sad, huh? Oh well - we will all be better off in the end.

My goal is still the same. I want to be free of my addiction to carbs and sweets. I want to also have lost 80 pounds. And, as much as I dislike exercise, I want to shape up. To me that means being able to play, swim, walk, and ride a bike at a regular pace without being winded. Not too much to ask I don't think.

Blessings as you move forward!!

Moving Forward

I have stopped counting days - I don't exactly know when I stopped, maybe around the time of my last entry, but I have stopped. I no longer think of this as something with a beginning and an end. I really now think of it as a lifestyle. That is the goal, right? I am not saying I am perfect, and I am definitely not saying I have lost the total amount of weight I need to, but I see changes in me. I feel the changes in my choices, how I look at food, and in the fact that I don't have that burning, "get out of my way" need for something sweet at the end of the day like I did even three weeks ago.

So, here I am, on March the 2nd, and really praying that these "feelings" (which I know can be deceiving) are here to stay. That the changes that are positive inside me are permanent. That I am on the right track - moving forward - and that four months from now - one year from now - I can look back and say - "Yes, I remember the moment my heart changed."

So, all that being said - I still am waiting on my heart to get on board with exercise. Unfortunately, I really think God is waiting on ME to get on board with exercise. Funny, huh? Well - I keep packing my workout clothes and they keep not getting used. My intentions are so so good though! :D

I am down 16.5 lbs this morning. If I could exercise and completely lay off chocolate and sweets I know I could be down more, but - oh well- this is me for now - and I will forge ahead, with God's help.

Again, I am so very thankful for my support - from my husband most of all - and from those that have commented on the changes they see outwardly, but I know they are only the result of the changes from within.

Blessings as you move forward!

Day Twenty Two

Well, my very first impulse is to run and hide - and what I mean is to just not post anymore. I really have not done well these last few days, and all the knowledge I have has not helped my choices. What it comes down to is heart.
I would like to say my heart is right, but is it? Would a right heart still go in a store - no matter what the temptation - and buy cookies, ice cream, candy, etc? Especially knowing the weakness within me. That would be like me celebrating a friend's recovery from alcohol with a keg party. Seriously - where is my heart? It has been right - until this past weekend. My husband says this weekend was not the change - the change came a week ago - the two week celebration mark - when I ate ice cream. That was the beginning of the downhill slide for me. It is true. My flesh has gained strength again. All that I have gotten through and struggled through - I feel like I am back to square one. I feel like I can't just say "I am going to do better." No, I have to START OVER!!

Honestly, I am tired right now. That is also part of my problem. Remember how I cautioned about taking care of you - not to the extent of not doing what God called you to in caring for your family, but also not always putting others or "good things" first before what is needed to grow yourself spiritually and physically. Well, that lesson is coming home to roost, so to speak. I am tired from good. But, the flip side is I am also out of order. I have not helped with the meals at home - I really have spent the last week avoiding the kitchen if I could - not helpful. I did not ever finish a new plan, either - I did put forth a half hearted attempt at a new one, but nothing real. So, I am convicted about that. There is a verse that says God will bless the works of your hands. Well - I have to actually work my hands in this area for that to be the case.
I know God will one day use all this - this struggle and these feelings of inadequacy to help another - and I cling to that. I just don't want to disappoint one more time. Not me, my husband, God, or anyone else - which is probably why only three people even know I am writing this blog - so if you are reading this - trust me - that is a DIVINE APPOINTMENT!!

So, my challenge to myself: Make a plan. Make a two week menu, shopping list, and start over. Forgive yourself your shortcomings "In our weakness, He is made strong." and Press On!!

Today I brought my workout clothes with me to work - also my workout video. Of course my day is half over and I have not even done anything with any of it, but I did pack it all up and bring it :D

My choices today have been self loathing: Breakfast: two iced sugar cookies and diet mtn. dew
Snack: five snack sized twix bars (found them in the kitchen drawer), Lunch: Chicken salad wrap (homemade)

Reminder to self: "...for the righteous man falls seven times, he gets back up; but the wicked are brought down by calamity." Proverbs 24:16